Mama got a van

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”— before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain…. -Ecclesiastes 12:1-2 (NIV)

Mama turns 80 at the end of November. Her health does not allow her to move around much any more and she suffers from kidney failure and dementia. Some days are better than others. After spending the past five months in and out of hospitals and care facilities, she was able to return to her house a couple of weeks ago. Daddy has people who come in a few hours each day to help him look after her, and we had a positive development this week when we procured a van with a wheelchair lift. This will simplify transport to and from dialysis treatments and allow for some “excursions” on days she feels up to it.

This summer has marked a pivot point in the relationship between my parents and me. Unlike previous transitions – child to teen, teen to young adult, young adult to family man – this one finds me taking on more responsibility and more concern for their outcomes than has been needed in the past. It is uncharted territory for all of us. My mother has never been this frail. My father has never been this dependent on the help and kindness of others – he was always the one providing the help. I have never been asked to participate in the decision-making process of what, how, and when to take some of the steps needed for a parent who will probably never again be the person I've known my whole life. There are moments when I’m not sure whether I am up to it.

Remember Him—before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. -Ecclesiastes 12:6-7 (NIV)

And yet, I know that I am up to it, in large part because of the example and investment of my Mama. She was the one who regularly took a limited budget for clothes and groceries and always made it more than enough for a family of five. She taught me to love walks in the woods and the joy of standing still to watch and listen to God’s creation. She gave me an appreciation for history, music, and reading. I watched her teach hundreds of Bible lessons to thousands of school-aged children over three decades, and train others to do the same. A lover of all things living, she allowed us to bring home, at various times, dogs, cats, hamsters (which mated and had litters), fish (which mated and had fry), birds, turtles, lizards, tadpoles, hermit crabs, and a tarantula. She taught me to work hard, tell the truth, own my mistakes, and do my best. She made a short, chubby, bespectacled, red-headed kid believe he could be anything he wanted to be and do anything he wanted to do.

As I sit in my parents’ living room today watching Daddy tenderly brushing Mama’s hair, marveling at the depth of love born of sixty years together, here is what I want to be and do: a son who blesses his mother and father. So yes, we will walk through this season together, my parents, my brothers, and me, with me carrying more of the load this time than I have in the past. And it'll be OK. Because I am standing on the shoulders of spiritual giants.

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. -Ecclesiastes 12:11 (NIV)