ICNU conversations

Then I said, “O, Lord God! I do not know how to speak. I am only a boy.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a boy.’ You must go everywhere I send you. And you must say whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of them. For I am with you to take you out of trouble,” says the Lord. –Jeremiah 1:6-8 (NLV)

When I was in 9th grade, we had a youth minister who pulled me aside one day and told me I was a leader. It was a concept I’d never considered. I pretty well stayed in my lane and did the things that came easy to me, without much consideration of whether anyone was watching or following. He said, “No, I’ve seen it. Your peers listen when you talk, and the younger kids watch what you do. If you will lead out, people will follow.” I believed him. As I became more aware and intentional in a leader’s role, people in the youth group did follow. And I learned something important about myself.

That moment was an example of what has been called an “I see in you” or ICNU conversation. It’s that moment when someone communicates, “Not only do I notice you, but I’ve noticed something specific about you and it’s good and you need to be aware of it.” Sharing that type of statement with someone is a game-changer.

If it’s a passing encounter, it sincerely expresses appreciation and encourages someone. In a discipling context, it can unlock imagination into new opportunities or areas of giftedness the person was previously unaware of, or nervous about exercising. In a relationship, it can provide that area of common ground and respect that leads to deeper conversations about issues of eternal consequence.

As ambassadors in the Kingdom of Christ, we should keep our eyes open to ICNU opportunities. You never know where they may lead….

About twenty years ago, I was tech lead for a systems team that supported a major segment of our business. We had plenty of programmers; we needed someone to capture statistical data, file paperwork, write reports, and field customer calls, which were usually complaints or enhancement requests. After fighting to get the new position approved, we acquired a lady who was transferring out of another area. She was neither polished nor highly educated. She was a single mother of three, coming off a complicated divorce, and she was frequently distracted and angry. Not the perfect candidate, but we didn’t have people beating down our door to take the job, and my programmers were spending way too much time not programming. We took her on.

It went about as you would expect in the early going. She was rough and abrasive and I was getting negative feedback from teammates and customers. But I noticed she was smart and well organized. Though not technical, she learned the ins and outs of the systems we supported. She kept good notes and held people accountable. And once you got past the rough exterior, she was actually a friendly person, committed to doing a good job.

So I told her all that. Learning I thought she was smart and capable, with skills that were valuable to our team, her whole demeanor changed. She became much more pleasant and communicative. She started training our customers in the use of the tools we developed. She documented patterns in our support calls that helped us identify and prioritize problems, reducing our backlog and after-hours support call volume by 60% over the next eighteen months. Once considered a “problem child”, she went on to thrive in her career and eventually managed a team of her own.

ICNU. Try it. You could brighten a day. Or change a life.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. –1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)