Dad jokes
Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. -Proverbs 17:6 (NIV)
Happy Father's Day! I've made more than my share of mistakes as a dad. Having a sense of humor helps get past some of the rough spots. I'm pretty sure our Heavenly Father likes to laugh - how else do you explain the platypus? With that in mind, here are a couple dozen of the best bad Dad Jokes I've run across. Enjoy the day and see if some of these tickle your funny bone. Even better if you find one that makes your family chuckle and/or groan!
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!”
What did the zero say to the eight? "That belt looks good on you."
What did one hat say to the other? "You stay here! I'm going on ahead."
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know....
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.
What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What does a house wear? Address.
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
My wife said I was immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
What rock group has four guys that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? "Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!
Why did the stadium get so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
So one vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn't cool.
My doctor told me I was going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear.
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
When does a bad joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
I think it’s gonna be OK y’all. I read the end of the book - the good guys win!
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)