Being there

It’s been said that half of life is showing up. “Being there” is important to the people we care about. I’ve heard it called “the gift of presence”. It may not seem like all that much, but oftentimes it's enough. Scripture gives us multiple examples to draw upon. Let’s look at three of them.

When Job’s three friends… heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. –Job 2:11 (NIV)

You have to admire these men who were intentional about checking on their friend. We sometimes hesitate to step in because we don’t know what to say. Ironically, Job’s friends were most effective at comforting Job when they were silent. They sat with Job for a week before they started talking. When they finally did talk, they wouldn’t shut up, and their words were not especially helpful! Sometimes, less is more.

“Don’t call me Naomi (Pleasant),” she told them. “Call me Mara (Bitter), because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. –Ruth 1:20 (NIV)

If anyone had reason to be bitter, Naomi did. She blamed God for her misfortune, and wore her misery like a thorny crown. Bitter people are hard to be around, but Ruth was committed. She didn’t argue with Naomi; she didn’t try to fix her. Ruth let Naomi speak her mind and stubbornly stuck around until life got better for them both. Being present means being faithful.

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! –Proverbs 15:23 (NIV)

There are times when saying something is appropriate, but what to say and how to say it? Moses had left his wife and sons with his father-in-law while he led God’s people out of Egypt. Once that was accomplished and a rhythm established, it was time for Zipporah and the boys to re-join Moses. And it was important for Moses to be a husband and father for his family. Jethro had insight that could help Moses with that, so he modeled two important principles to ensure his advice hit home: Connect before correct (Ex. 18:7-12) and Ask before tell (Ex. 18:13-16). The right to be heard is earned in the context of relationship and mutual respect.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. –Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

Whether or not words are spoken, the gift of presence can be a blessing. And don’t forget to pray. Praying is likely the most difference-making part of being present. Present to walk through the joys and the hurts together. Present to see what God may do in the life of that person you care about. Few blessings come closer to the heart of God than this ability to love and be loved. Soak it in. You’re standing on holy ground.