The spirit is willing
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” –Matthew 26:40-41 (NIV)
What did you expect them to do? A heavy meal, a heavy conversation, now told to wait in the dark and quiet of the garden. Of course they fell asleep. I have been struck this week with the humanity of Jesus’ apostles between the time of the Last Supper and the ascension.
They didn’t have the luxury of reading ahead to see what the next chapters would bring. That Jesus would be raised from the dead. That He would connect the dots of their unfinished pictures by explaining how everything that happened was in direct fulfillment of the prophetic Scriptures. That He would actually return to the Father and leave them to carry His kingdom forward. That the Holy Spirit would be poured out on them within weeks, equipping them to do exactly that.
This night, the coming days, and the next few weeks would bring confusion, terror, exhaustion, guilt, grief, and doubt. How could their friend, their teacher, their master be snatched away so suddenly and cruelly? Had they hitched their wagon to the wrong horse? Would they survive, or would those who had a vendetta against Jesus now come looking for them? Had they bet the farm and rolled snake eyes? If there was a path forward, was it still something they wanted to be part of?
Simon Peter tried to make good on his promise to be true to the end, only to have Jesus pause in mid-ear-re-attachment to give him an earful! I wonder if Peter’s denials pointed to his need for some time to process what was happening – “Am I still in? And if so, what does that even mean at this point?” Forced to make an immediate commitment, he was unable to do so. Hot tears expressed bitter disappointment over his betrayal of a friend, but also mourned what he interpreted as the death of a dream.
All the disciples had to have been experiencing those same feelings. We know Peter’s reactions because he made it as far as the front yard of the High Priest. John was apparently the only one of the twelve who didn’t go full-on meltdown. But there was no stopping this avalanche. As a new reality began to settle in, they all made their way back to the upper room, probably the same place they had shared the Passover on Thursday. Saturday would be a long day. What would come next?
Sunday was amazing, but unbelievable. Literally unbelievable. They needed proof. They needed answers. They were overjoyed, but what were the implications of this turn of events? Jesus, as He had done throughout His time with them, told and showed them as much as He could. But, as usual, there were some things that were simply beyond their grasp. Leading up to His ascension back into heaven, there were still those asking about the restoration of the nation of Israel.
He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” –Acts 1:7-8 (NIV)
We marvel at the lack of understanding and tiny faith of those early disciples. We like to think that if we had seen what they saw, we would never have wavered. But we have our doubts, our concerns, our wonderments. We hear the words of Jesus and are not always ready to receive them. We see the way things appear in our world, and we think, “Well, that can’t be right!” And Jesus’ encouragements still ring true:
Heads up, eyes open.
Prayer works. Keep doing that.
Don’t worry about the stuff that isn’t yours to know yet.
Go in the power of My Spirit.
Talk about the stuff you have seen and known.
Happy Resurrection Sunday, y’all! He is risen indeed!