I don't have a death wish, but....

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  –Philippians 1:20-21 (NIV)
 
When I was in my 20’s, I watched my grandmother die of cancer. She was the kindest, most gentle person I have ever known. Mom had gone about her days quietly without complaining, so by the time the cancer was diagnosed, it was well advanced. She lasted only a few months, refusing all but the most basic of treatments. We prayed for her healing. She joined in that prayer, but not enthusiastically.
 
I was indignant. Why wasn’t she fighting? Why wouldn’t she let the doctors help her? I confronted her. She gave me a wise, tired smile and said, “Baby, you know I love you and I appreciate everything you’ve said and done. But I’m ready to go home. I’ve had a good life and I’ve done what God put me here to do. Now it’s your turn.” I didn’t fully understand, but I gave her permission to go. She was 75.
 
If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.  –Philippians 1:22-24 (NIV)
 
Now in my 60’s, I understand. I’m not looking to hasten my departure, but the idea of finishing this race is not unpleasant to me and certainly not to be feared at this point. More so now, I feel the urgency of investing in eternity. I figure I’ve got 20-ish years left, Lord willing and the saints don’t rise. Twenty years after that, my kids and grandkids will remember a few stories about me.
 
Twenty years after that, my name will be in some database, but no one will know me beyond that. My great-great-grandchildren may see an old picture of me, but they won’t know who it is. The thing that will outlive me is in the lives I touch for Christ and the lives they touch and the lives they touch. That will be all the legacy I have.
 
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ….  –Philippians 1:27a (NIV)
 
When it’s time to go, I’ll be ready. I look forward to hugging Mom’s neck. And I look forward to meeting the generations yet unborn who came to know Jesus, in part because of something I said or something I did or someone I blessed a hundred years before they were ever alive. Life is short – make it count.