Learning to trust the process

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. –James 1:4 (NIV)

I have written in this space about becoming more Christ-like as a great and positive thing. Can I make a confession? Some days it stinks. I’ve enjoyed the things God has taught me about Himself. And the things He teaches me about myself often improve my relationships – at least the ones I care about. But growth hurts. It’s convicting and it’s hard.

Here’s an example. I’ve only very recently begun to feel what I would call deep empathy, true compassion for others. Oh, I’ve always been able to listen to people’s stories, hear of their hurts, say a pretty prayer, and move on. These days, those moments linger. I catch myself remembering hours or even days later, putting myself in their shoes, praying about them multiple times over an extended period, sometimes even reaching back out to check in or offer encouragement.

Can I say my life was simpler when I didn’t feel so much? Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age. Maybe it’s maturity or (dare I say?) wisdom. Maybe it’s a realization that we’re only here for a little while and I need to “make hay while the sun shines”. Or maybe, just maybe, God was listening when I told Him I wanted to love like Jesus loves and have my heart broken for the things that break His.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. –2 Peter 3:18 (NIV)

This has led to another problem. I have discovered that I sometimes feel overburdened with these situations and stories that I hear. I feel melancholy and I wonder why, and then I realize it’s because I have been thinking about someone I know who has experienced a loss or is going through a trial.

It’s new territory for a guy who has always been a bit stoic, who is well-practiced in the spiritual gift of sarcasm. Turning off emotions and getting the job done worked for me. Now it seems I have a new job requiring different tools. God is providing them, and I’m having to learn how to use them.

I carry around a piece of folded up typing paper in my pocket. It’s my prayer list. On one side are about 200 names I mention before the Father a couple times per week. On the other are some hopes and dreams and reminders I pray for myself, along with a handful of scriptures I rotate through as a basis for my prayers. Recently, when I felt myself carrying things a little more heavily than was productive, I added this handwritten note: “Don’t rush. Don’t try to carry more than you were made to carry. It’s God’s work. Just be faithful to what He puts in front of you today.”

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Speaking of the challenge of taking on the image of Christ, I re-watched this video from about ten years ago. It’s funny, touching, encouraging, and designed to make you think. It’s also eleven and a half minutes, but I highly recommend it! The Skit Guys - God's Chisel